What is a Death Doula and why do you want one?
An alarming statistic: did you know two-thirds of people have no end of life plan at all?
You know how to die. Your body knows how to die. You don’t need someone to teach you that. A death doula is here to be a companion on your journey at end of life. Someone to ask you the questions you never thought to ask, to hold presence for this sacred time, to help you plan your sacred space at end of life, and to be there for your family and support system now and after your body is laid to rest. Think of me as you would a special even planner. I help you take care of things so you can be present with your loved ones. I help you get what you want.
Palliative and hospice care often come in at end of life. Even though it is a beautiful service, I find that families and the dying often lack support. Did you know that 63% of individuals who get admitted to a nursing care facility never have an end of life conversation with said facility? Even hospice patients are not given a full end of life plan.
A death doula helps fill in the gaps and provides additional support and presence during this sacred time.
As a holistic death doula, I offer:
Advance directives or what I call “Living Well Plans” that focus on the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, and financial aspects of your being to promote peace of mind. This includes last wishes for when you are no longer able to make decisions, body disposition, forgiveness work, rituals, tying up financial loose ends, Swedish death cleaning and more. This process is unique to each individual and family. Not only do I speak with the dying but also to facilitate family meetings to discuss the wishes of the dying.
I work in conjunction with Hospice. Hospice is a beautiful service, but with the national average of only 6-21 days on hospice-families often need support beyond nurse visits.
Creating legacy projects for your loved ones; maybe its videos, gathering photos, writing letters to your loved ones, the possibilities are endless.
Writing eulogies and obituaries
Education for you and your family about what to expect and offer support in decision making, sometimes this is even discussing that is in fact time to call hospice. This is never a sign of failure; this is a sign of needing more care.
Companion care and respite care: this is especially important for those families who are doing caretaking for your loved ones. I come in and you get a break. Let me come clean, cook, spend time with your loved one.
Vigil Planning and sitting vigil; I help you plan for the transition out of this world. One that is meaningful and personal for the dying and families.
Assist in planning home funerals
Offer anticipatory grief support to the dying and their families
Offer bereavement support to the family after the death
And if you don’t see what you want on this list, get in touch with me, I would still love to work with you!
I am able to officiate your service as well. (Please see Funeral Celebrant section.)
What I DO NOT offer: any kind of skilled nursing care, delivering medication, legal matters
I also love to meet with groups and speak about end of life and grief topics.
We can live well, die well, and grieve well-sometimes we just need support.
$25/hr
Packages available and sliding scale for those in need.
I have a short little questionnaire for you to fill out so when we get on the call, we can utilize the time efficiently. I offer these calls to give presence and support. There is no obligation.
You can email me directly; joslyn@sacredroaddoula.com
Death is one of the top fears in the world but once was revered as a natural and sacred part of life. What happened? We sent our sick and dying to the hospital and sent our bodies to industry. We are no longer connected to the process and have lost the sense of sacredness surrounding death.
Death has become something we think about later because it is too hard to talk about today. And when death comes, important decisions are left to be made amid chaos. Loved ones are left bewildered and confused. Often guilt and regret follow after having to make decisions when they did not know what their loved one wanted. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can plan before death and have a “good death.” One that is peaceful and meaningful. One that is filled with Presence.
Do you know about the Bhutanese saying that in order to find happiness and gratitude, one must think about death five times a day?
What is a death doula anyway?
Just as a birth doula labors one into this world, so a death doula labors one out of this world. Death doulas offer many services including advance directives, spiritual care, addressing financial matters, legacy projects, death coaching for the dying and their families, vigil care, after death care, and bereavement services for the family. I tailor my services to your needs. Yes, we do have nursing homes and hospice, which are beautiful and needed services. However, there are still gaps in care and education.
What is a holistic death doula?
A holistic death doula keeps the whole body in mind when helping someone plan for their end of life. Humans are comprised of a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual element and all areas need to be balanced to find peace with death (and life!) Often, death is focused on the physical body, but there is a lot more to helping a soul transition out of this world. As a holistic death doula, I keep your whole being in mind to help you plan your sacred and peaceful transition.
